Why I Can't Love You
by Alice Mist
Summary: "I can still taste the smoke. I remember every little detail. All I can't remember is him." I said, trying to muster to remember how to breathe. He didn't say anything. I felt his hand on my shoulder and a pressure began to build on my chest. He was my only friend at the end of my universe. He was the only one who meant anything. "And that is why I can't love you."
1. Chapter 1

I wasn't at my parents funeral.

Their funeral was an hour ago. I can picture what it must have been like to be there. Flowers on dark polished caskets. Bright white ones that gave an odd sense of hope. Hope that my parents are in a better place. There would be the priest standing at his podium. He never met them, so his speech would be something prewritten on a pamphlet.

There would be a few people there. Their faces… they knew my family in some way, but it would not matter. There would be a cold stone look. I would have seen it in their eyes. An emotional deadness. Too much grief. Even if they didn't know them that well, my parents were not old.

I was finishing the last two years of high school. My parents married young at the ages of 22 and 23. I was born shortly after and my mother had just had her 40 birthday. My dad had bought her drapes that matched the rug.

It was a sudden death. A fire had started in the house and the flames had climbed their way into the sky. The smoke was so thick, the taste. I still can taste it. It lays like metal on my tongue. It wouldn't taste like smoke in the church. No, it would have that old book smell. Bibles at every pew and glass windows. The light would catch the dust particles that would swim in the air. It would be a kind light. A warm glow that offered protection.

At least that's how I think it went down. Three dark polished caskets surrounded in the hope of a happy ever after.

The people who were sitting in those pews didn't know the truth. No one knows the truth. I don't know the truth.

They won't tell me.

All I know is that I , Clare Johnson , was buried with her family on this day.

And that my life would never be mine again


	2. Chapter 2

"What is your name?"

I tilted my head to the side and looked at the man in front of me. He was dressed in a suit and tie. He had black hair which was spiky thanks to some hair product I would imagine. He was about the same age as my parents, his hair was beginning to fade in front, but not too terribly. That is not what truly amazed me, genetics are nice and all, but his talent for sounding like a broken record player was truly the most amazing thing about him.

"Are we really going to go over this again?" I asked as I glanced towards the window.

Airplanes. I was sick of them. I had never flown in an airplane until the incident. I use to get excited about the idea of traveling the world, but when you don't get to choose. It loses it hype.

"Lynn Ootori, please understand that this has to be done."

I cringed. I had no problem with the name. Nothing wrong with the name Lynn or the last name Ootori, but that was my name now. I hated it. I graced him with a glance. He was waiting for me to talk. I had this information drilled into my head for the past month, and he is still asking the same questions. And I could tell you everything about Lynn Ootori.

"My name is Lynn Ootori," I stated situating myself so I could no longer see the man in front of me.

"Age?"

"17"

"Family?"

I could feel a chill go up my spine. I took a shaky breath and tried to keep focus on the clouds that the past by.

"I'm a not supposed to talk about that."

He paused. I know he was going to ask me again. He always did.

"If your family does come up, you must explain what had happened without raising a few eyebrows. Remember the best lie is the truth."

"They died. In a fire, it was an accident. Those who looked over the rubble believe that a candle was left lit on the night of the fire. I was at a summer camp when it happened."

There were a pause and the scratching of a pen against paper. He was writing in that notebook of his. Detailed reports most likely.

"Do you think they will fall for it?" I asked.

The pen stopped for a short second. Then continued as if I had said nothing at all. He cleared his throat.

"What makes you ask?"

"17 is a little old for adoption. Isn't it? Not to mention that this family does not even know me…

"You're in witness protection, Lynn. You can't know them."

"I don't even know the language, I am going to stick out like a sore thumb," I said more to myself than to the man.

I don't know his name. To be honest, all I knew about him was that when he showed up my world had torn itself apart. I could care less about a real name.

"Ouran Academy is very open to foreign exchange students. You will fit in just fine."

"I didn't fit into high school in the states, and you think that I can fit in here?"

"Well if you are your parent's kid then…"

I can't breathe. I quickly turn to face the man and gave him thin smile. Before standing up and making my way to the bathroom.

When I caught a glance in the mirror. The nightmare was proven real and reality had begun to spin out of control.

Someone else was staring right back at me. I reached up to touch my hair and the figure in the glass did the same. I had brown hair, once upon a time. Dark chocolate brown hair, but it had been stripped from all of its colors and what had stayed was bright blond. My hair was styled nice and princess like. Golden curves and waves with a side bang. I hated it. I lifted my hair so I could look at my face. The scare I got in an accident was gone. It had run down the side of my face thanks to a nasty fall down the stairs when I was 5. They had changed everything. When I looked in that mirror, I knew that Clare was dead.

" Lynn?"

"Can't you give me five minutes alone?" I asked through the door.

"Lynn ?"

This was my life now, I guess. I let out a sigh and leaned myself against the door.

"What?"

"The plane will be landing in a few moments. We need go through a few things before we land."

"My name is Lynn Ootori, my family died in a fire. I have no living family, but the Ootori family decided to take me in on account of my mother who knew Mrs. Ootori as an exchange student. Yoshio Ootori is the Chief Executive Officer of the largest hospitals in Japan. Yuuichi is the eldest brother who will take over the family business when his father dies. Akito is a medical student, Fuyumi is married, so the only member of the family that I will see is Kyoya who is enrolled at the Academy in which I will finish my last two years of schooling."

"You must understand that you can't tell anyone your real name or how your parents died."

"I don't even know what happened to my parents."

The man behind the door went quite. For half a second I thought he might actually pity me. Maybe the words, poor kid had popped into his head, but it wasn't like he would say anything about it.

"Lynn, even if they find who did this. You can never go back. You must understand, Clare died with her family in that fire, and now you are Lynn and will always be Lynn. The reason why we can not tell you anything is because every little detail is a danger to your life."

"I don't know anything at all, my parents lived a lie."

"Remember them as the lie. Your safety depends on it. My suggestion is that you live your life to the best of your ability. Don't ever look back."

There was a pause. I sat there in complete silence. This was happening and I could never know why.

" We are going to land in 5 minutes, Ms. Ootori, I need you to head to your seat."


	3. Chapter 3

I found myself standing on the staircase near a limo. A shiny black one with the windows tinted. A man dressed in black tie stood next to the passenger door. It wasn't normal. But then again nothing is normal anymore.

"Whoever did this to my parents, is going to find me," I muttered as I just stared at the limo. "I'm going to die."

"Don't be ridiculous madam, you are not going to die." The man whispered back.

I could feel his hand on my shoulder. I supposed he was trying to comfort me to the best of his ability. But there was no sense of comfort in his touch. I rolled my shoulders back and made my way down towards my death.

"What ever organization you work for is completely clueless. If I did want to be found, I wouldn't go to a rich family. If who ever you worked for had brain to share between them, you would have sent me to the middle of nowhere."

"Normally, that would happen, but the person who has done this will not look in a place like this. If they do, the Otoori family own a large police force." the man said, he sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

I let out a sigh. Making my way down the ladder. My hand clenched around the handbag they had given me. A handbag, I had already started to hate life as it was, but that stupid handbag was the cherry on top. I had made my way down and that man in a black suit opened that door for me. Not that I couldn't do it myself, but because apparently I was to be treated like royalty. I couldn't be mad at that stranger, it wasn't his fault. He had only been doing his job.

I thanked him for the best I could, he said something in Japanese. I think it may have been along the lines of you're welcome, but I have no way to be sure. All I really knew was to say hello and goodbye.

The nameless man had come up to the window. A smile on his face. I couldn't tell if he was happier that he didn't have to deal with me anymore or if the promise that he could go made him so happy. I decided that both was a good answer.

"You're going to alright," he said.

"Leave me alone," I said. I was finished with this.

"You're going to love it in Japan-" the man began.

"Driver, could we please go now?" I begged from the back seat.

The limo finally began to move and I rolled my window up. The man behind the window just waved good bye as if he was my best friend. I let myself melt into the seat.

I couldn't help but look outside as we drove. The city. Everything was made out of cement and metal. Night had just begun to fall on this place and the lights danced on the sidewalk. Cars passed by and I couldn't help but feel alone in the massive world.

"Mom, Dad… what am I doing here?" I asked in the silence.

I can't believe I am really doing this. I laid my head against the car window. _I can't cry just yet._ I thought to myself as I hugged my knees to my chest.

I haven't cried for my parents passing. I know, that sounds heartless, but I didn't have time to cry. Those people had found me right when I found out that they… that they were gone. I can't cry in front of strangers. I didn't have a single moment to myself this entire month. It was ether I was becoming someone else or that I was followed by guards. Even when I went to bed, one of them sat in my room.

They were always there. Always. I wasn't alone here ether. They told me that this family had a huge police force of some kind. Which in short means that I will never have a moment to myself. Even now I know that there is a man with a gun sitting in the seat next to the driver.

The limo came to a stop and I glanced outside. This wasn't real. The man came to the side door and opened it up for me. I walked out and couldn't help but stare at the building.

"Ms. Ootori," someone said bringing me out of my daze.

I looked over and saw a tall woman. Her hair was held back in a tight black bun. I have never seen a woman look so clean in my life. She didn't smile as she looked at me. I could tell she was scanning me. I shifted on my feet nervously but kept eye contact with the woman.

"I am the head maid of this household. I will show you to your room." She said and she began to make her way to the mansion.

"Okay, just let me grab my things," I said as I reached for my bag.

"None sense, I will have your things brought up to you." She said and a wicked grin came to her face. It was a mistake. A mistake that I knew would have gotten me in trouble if the entire staff had not already known.

She knew I didn't belong here. I think she would not let me forget that.

I only nodded and I began to walk to the building. We walked in silence. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander as we entered the halls. It was strange. I felt like I was in a dream of some type. No one could really live in a place like this, could they?

It was then she stopped. She turned around and opened a door for me.

"This is your room, Ms. Ootori," she said and I walked in.

I couldn't help but look around the room. It was almost as if someone was building a house and decided that they didn't want to put more walls in. That one room was almost the size of my old house. It was then I realized that I was most definitely not somewhere I could call home. I looked over the room and I found myself lost in a daze.

"Ms. Ootori," the woman said and I turned around to look at her. "School will start at 8 and breakfast will be served at 7. You will be taking a limo with Mr. Ootori. Is that understood?"

I found myself nodding for some unknown reason. I looked back around the room. This was huge, what in the world would I do with it?

"Your school uniform is in the closet. Along with some clothing, Mrs. Ootori thought you would enjoy. That is all, have a good night Ms. Ootori," she said and with that, she shut the door.

I stood there in the silence. I couldn't help but feel that this was all some part of a nightmare. I waited a little longer. I was listening. Waiting for some guards to rush in and watch me as I slept.

Nothing.

My knees gave out from under me. I could feel like the tears were beginning to work their way from my eye and I couldn't stop them anymore. I collapsed into a mess of sobs. This couldn't be real. There is no way that this could be real.

It was then that the door opened.

"I'm sorry- I…" I began through tears.

I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't. I had woken someone up. Oh, how foolish of me, I am such an idiot. I can't stop crying.

"It is alright to cry," the voice said.

I looked up. I was surprised to find gray eyes looking back at me.

"Mr. Ootori," I managed through a gasp.

Trying to breathe while you are crying is not easy. Trust me.

"Call me Kyoya," he said calmly.

"I am so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." I managed finally catching my breath.

I might be breathing normally, but for some odd reason, the tears kept falling. I rubbed my eyes with my sleeve.

"You didn't wake me. I heard a crash and decided to see what was wrong." He said passing me a tissue." Wait here."

I rubbed my eyes and tried to clean myself up. I let myself lean against the bed. _This was horrible._ I feel sorry for the poor guy. Having to walk in on the mess I had made myself. I took a deep breath and tried to control myself.

He came over to me and handed me a glass of water.

"Thank you," I whispered at took a drink of the water.

"My pleasure." He said as he sat down next to me.

We sat there in silence for a moment. It was comfortable. For too long I had people talking to me and asking a bunch of questions. He did none of that. He sat there in silence, letting me let myself go.

"I will see you in the morning, Clare," he said as he got up to leave.

"You used my name," I said softly.

"Yes, it appears that I did," he said softly, " my apologies."

"No, I do mind at all. It just shocked me that is all. I haven't been called that since my parents…"

"I see, I will see you in the morning, Clare," he said and he let the door shut behind him.

That was how I met him. That was how I met Kyoya Ootori. The man who was going to change everything. I just didn't know that yet. I wouldn't realize that until much later.


End file.
